Finding Vocation Among the Dead

In the Summer of 2019, I had an inconvenient idea – “I think I want to be a priest.”

Why “inconvenient?” I had a job, I had a car, I had an apartment, I had my life together. The notion of going to the Seminary, and potentially deciding against the priesthood was daunting; then I would have no job, no apartment, no car… it would be as though I was starting over. I struggled with this idea for a few months, and did all of the things to prepare to attend, while telling myself “I won’t actually go.”

I did the retreats, I did the psychological evaluations, I gathered the recommendations and sacramental records, I even submitted an application. The timing of this was also inconvenient; the term started in August, and it was impossible to enroll that quickly. I needed to work for another year before going to the Seminary.

In that year, I told myself, I should work for the Church, to see if I like it. My previous position was working in sales at a software company, so, naturally, I applied for a position at a Catholic Cemetery because graves and software… how different are they really? I started work, genuinely believing I’d sell graves for a year and then go be a priest.

I heard a “joke” on a TV show once where two characters were conversing, one is Catholic and says to the other, “I’m Catholic, so when I pray to God, He doesn’t answer.” Even as I discerned the priesthood, I felt this joke described me so well. I could read about the Church for hours; I could study, I could write, I could share that knowledge; but ask me to pray – no way! Every time I prayed, I sought a booming voice from the Heavens, like Samuel conversing with God, in reply. While logically, intellectually, I know that God rarely communicates like this – I wanted it– and every time I didn’t get it was a disappointment.

What wasn’t a disappointment, though, was the immense spiritual fulfillment I started getting from my job. I found my job required me to discuss the faith, in particular Catholic teachings on death, burial, cremation, respect for the body, and prayer for the dead. I had these conversations every day. I consumed academic resources to expand my knowledge on these subjects – at first to make me a better salesman, and then out of pure interest. After a few months working in this ministry, I knew I’d never leave; I knew this is what I’m meant to do. My job has changed, I’ve progressed into differing roles, but I enjoy it as much today as I did those first few months.

While I certainly haven’t unlocked the mystery of death, or the guaranteed path to sainthood, what I believe I’ve discovered is this: there are many paths to Sainthood. St. Mother Teresa served the poor, St. Jerome was a writer, translator, and at times, a hermit. St. Robert Bellarmine

was a Church lawyer. Perhaps I don’t need to hear God as clearly as Samuel did in the night to be inspired to follow the example of His Saints. It isn’t required to wear a cassock or collar to lead His people, either; I can use this academic fascination, sharing it with others, to draw them toward devotion to prayer for the dead. In doing so, if I lead just one person toward an act of profound and compassionate mercy, I may have helped a soul leave Purgatory today. To help “create” a Saint… what greater reward could I seek!

I pray for the faithful departed my cemetery buries every day; I urge others to do the same.

Someday when my name is called, I trust you’ll pray for me.